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I have good news! Our beloved politicians DO learn from the past. I’m proud to announce, they’ve finally learned their lesson: everyone can learn something from history. But I’m not talking about Josephus’ Antiquitates Judaicae (although given the present world situation, I recommend giving it a quick read). I’m talking about chess. Yes, even the history of chess, the nadir of twiddle-your-thumbs boredom has its place. And our fun loving, happy-go-lucky American Statesmen/women, have been surprisingly adroit at putting one of its many invaluable lessons to good use.

A short Chess History lesson: (By way of preamble, I should mention, chess is a game based entirely on skill. Luck is not involved. Your mistakes are yours and yours alone.) In 1967, the infamous Yugoslavian player Milan Matulovic was matched against Istvan Bilek at the Sousse Interzonal. Immediately after a blunder of a move had been made, Matulovic cried “J’Adoube!” and retracted the move with impunity. Although he had clearly placed the piece BEFORE crying “J’Adoube,” the arbiter allowed the retraction (he didn’t notice Matulovic’s slight of hand), and the game went on. Matulovic ultimately won. For this, he went down in the annals of chess history as “Jadoubovic.”

Now for those of you who don’t speak French, “J’Adoube” literally means, “I adjust.” And it allows a player to adjust a piece (typically centering it within the square) without fear of punishment. BUT YOU MUST SAY THE MAGIC WORD BEFORE YOU TOUCH YOUR PIECE. Can you see where I’m going with this? Today’s fair-weather politicians are veritable “Jadoubovics!” Maybe no one will notice their shifting eyes, and sweaty brows, as they “adjust” in a sorry attempt to nullify statement after statement and policy after policy “en prise.” Indeed, they’ve studied their chess history well.

References: This stuff’s all over the Web.